Pallbearers: Who, How, and What to Know

Pallbearers are the people who carry or escort the casket during a funeral service. Traditionally, six to eight pallbearers physically carry the casket from the funeral home to the hearse, from the hearse to the place of worship, and from the service to the final resting place.

Choosing pallbearers is one of many decisions families face when planning a funeral. While this responsibility carries deep meaning, the practical aspects are straightforward once you understand the basics.

Who Can Be a Pallbearer

Anyone can serve as a pallbearer, though certain physical and logistical considerations matter. Most funeral homes require pallbearers to be at least 16 years old and physically able to safely carry weight.

Common choices for pallbearers include:

• Family members (sons, daughters, siblings, cousins)
• Close friends
• Colleagues or business partners
• Members of organizations the deceased belonged to
• Military service members for veterans
• Neighbors or community members

The most important factor is the person’s relationship to the deceased and their willingness to serve in this role. Physical ability matters, but funeral directors can provide guidance and assistance.

Physical Requirements

A standard casket weighs between 150-300 pounds empty. With the deceased, total weight typically ranges from 300-600 pounds. This weight is distributed among six to eight people, making it manageable for most adults.

Pallbearers should be able to walk steadily while carrying weight and navigate stairs if necessary. However, many funeral homes use wheeled devices and provide support to minimize physical strain.

How Many Pallbearers Do You Need

Most funerals use six to eight pallbearers. Six is the traditional number, with three people on each side of the casket. Eight pallbearers (four on each side) provides additional support and is common for heavier caskets or when extra stability is needed.

Some families choose to have honorary pallbearers in addition to active pallbearers. Honorary pallbearers participate in the procession but do not physically carry the casket. This allows elderly family members, young children, or people with physical limitations to take part in this meaningful role.

Active vs. Honorary Pallbearers

Active pallbearers physically carry the casket. They walk alongside the casket and support its weight during transport. Honorary pallbearers walk in the funeral procession, often directly behind the active pallbearers, but do not carry the casket.

This distinction allows families to include more people in the ceremony while ensuring the casket is safely handled by those physically able to do so.

How to Ask Someone to Be a Pallbearer

Being asked to serve as a pallbearer is considered an honor. Most people understand the significance and are willing to help during this difficult time. When organizing funeral arrangements, approach potential pallbearers directly and personally.

A simple approach works best: “Would you be willing to serve as a pallbearer for [name]’s funeral?” Explain what the role involves and provide details about the service time and location.

Give people the option to decline without pressure. Some may not feel physically able, may have scheduling conflicts, or might find the responsibility too emotionally difficult.

When to Ask

Ask pallbearers as soon as you know the funeral details, typically within the first few days after death. This gives people time to arrange their schedules and prepare emotionally for the responsibility.

Most funeral homes need the names of pallbearers at least 24 hours before the service to coordinate logistics and provide any necessary instructions.

What Pallbearers Do During the Service

Pallbearers have specific responsibilities before, during, and after the funeral service. The funeral director will provide detailed instructions, but understanding the general process helps pallbearers prepare.

Before the service, pallbearers typically gather at the funeral home 30 minutes early for instructions. The funeral director explains the route, timing, and any special considerations for the venue.

During the Service

Pallbearers usually sit together in reserved seating near the front of the venue. They may participate in the service like other attendees until it’s time to escort the casket.

The funeral director signals when it’s time to move the casket. Pallbearers take their positions, lift the casket, and move slowly and steadily. The pace is typically slower than normal walking to maintain dignity and stability.

At the Graveside

At the cemetery, pallbearers carry the casket from the hearse to the graveside. They may help position the casket over the burial site using the cemetery’s lowering device. After the graveside service, their formal duties are complete.

Pallbearer Etiquette and Dress Code

Pallbearers should dress formally and conservatively. Traditional funeral attire is appropriate: dark suits for men, dark dresses or pantsuits for women. Comfortable, closed-toe shoes with good grip are essential for safety.

Some families request specific attire, such as military uniforms for veterans’ services or particular colors that held meaning for the deceased. Follow the family’s guidance on dress preferences.

Behavior During the Service

Pallbearers should arrive on time, stay sober, and remain respectful throughout the service. Turn off cell phones and follow the funeral director’s instructions carefully.

Emotional reactions are normal and acceptable. If someone becomes too upset to continue, the funeral director can make adjustments. The priority is honoring the deceased while ensuring everyone’s safety and comfort.

Special Circumstances

Some situations require modified pallbearer arrangements. For veterans, military pallbearers may perform the honors. Religious or cultural traditions might dictate specific procedures or participants.

When families cannot find enough willing or able pallbearers, funeral homes can provide professional pallbearers. These staff members are trained to handle the responsibility respectfully and efficiently.

Cremation Services

When the deceased is cremated, pallbearers may carry or escort an urn instead of a casket. This requires fewer people due to the lighter weight, but the symbolic importance remains the same.

Some cremation services include a casket for the funeral ceremony before cremation, requiring traditional pallbearer duties even when burial doesn’t follow.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can women be pallbearers?

Yes, women can absolutely serve as pallbearers. This practice has become increasingly common and is widely accepted. Physical ability, not gender, determines suitability for the role.

What happens if a pallbearer can’t make it last minute?

Funeral homes can typically arrange for replacement pallbearers on short notice. They may have staff members who can fill in or can adjust the number of pallbearers. Contact the funeral home immediately if a pallbearer cannot attend.

Do pallbearers get paid?

Pallbearers usually serve voluntarily without payment. Professional pallbearers provided by funeral homes may be included in service fees, but family and friends typically consider it an honor to serve without compensation.

Can pallbearers be from different families or groups?

Yes, pallbearers can represent different aspects of the deceased’s life. It’s common to include family members alongside friends, colleagues, or members of organizations the deceased belonged to.

What if the casket is too heavy?

Funeral directors assess weight and adjust arrangements accordingly. They may recommend eight pallbearers instead of six, use wheeled devices for part of the transport, or provide professional assistance. Safety is always the priority.

This information is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal, medical, or financial advice. Always consult qualified professionals for guidance specific to your situation.